Superficial Hospitality

So, I've been thinking a lot about the whole idea of hospitality. My first thought is, I totally love having people over, and hanging out and just being with them. I love the idea of that. Yet, practically, when I start to dig a little deeper, I realize I don't like it so much. To be honest, it scares me. I don't like the fact that other people are around, looking at & watching me, listening to what I say, observing everything I do. It's uncomfortable and weird. And I think the reason is, that deep down I think I am not a very good person. Honestly, I think I suck, I am selfish and mean and ya I think I suck. I spend a lot of energy trying hide myself, or "masking" if you will. I often keep to myself or perhaps put on a bit of a "show". It's not like I'm trying to be fake, I'm not, but I definately try to hide the ugly dragon that pops its roaring head out from time to time. Well, actually more often than that. The ugly critisizing, judmental self that just can't seem to get enough attention.

The funny thing is that I am realizing that it is this that Christ came to redeem and make new. It's the things that I try to hide that I need to expose the most, and get messy and deal with so that I can change. So I guess that it make sense that Christ calls us to hospitality....not necessarily to feed or take care of others, or impress others with our home or life, but because it keeps us all real.

So, I think the problem lies in the fact that maybe I have not been practicing true hospitality. Maybe I have been practicing superficial hospitality. True hospitality allows others to see into the depths and ugly parts of our lives, it causes us to open ourselves up and expose the clean with dirty, the good and the bad. We invite people to come over, to look at us, to talk with us, so why are we surprised when they acutally do? And why are we so scared of that? We really don't have anything to hide, since Christ knows all, and he sees what junk we've got in our trunk. And he came to make it new, to take us and shape us into his image! I think that if our guests opened themselves up to us, we would find a lot of the same. It's important, because we can't truly see all of the crap we bring with us, we need others to act like a mirror for us. Instead we invite people over for a short while, to chat and eat and perhaps impress, and meanwhile we are totally missing the point. So why are running around hiding from hospitalities true call? I believe Christ created hospitality partly for this purpose...that we would be inclined to expose ourselves and through that allow Christ to make us new.