the trust issue

I don't really have much to say right now, but I thought I should write something....I just joined facebook...still trying to figure out how that all works. I makes me kinda miss all of my friends from Tyndale and Halifax. I miss being close to all of those peeps - It's kinda funny how we make friends, and hang out for a few years, and then life changes and we kind of loose contact with one another. I miss those friendships and those communities. It's awesome that I have the chance to start again here, its cool, but hard at the same time. It take a while to get to know each other, and for me, it seems to take a really long time. I think I am just a really cautious person, and I don't trust easily, therefore it takes people probubly longer to get to me, then for me to get to know them because I don't let my guard down easily. I've been thinking about the whole guard thing, and well I'm not sure if its always so good. I think I miss out on a lot of relationships and opportunities, not because I want to, but because I am so guarded and its hard to bring myself to a trusting position with people. It takes a long time. So in order for me to really get to know someone really well, that person would have to stick around for a while, but really why would they if I don't let them in - its kind of a weird thing. On the other side, its a good thing becuase I just don't cast out my heart to just anyone. I don't rush into relationship with anyone, I wait it out, I observe, and ask myself if I can trust this person. So, it has it's positives and negatives I guess, sometimes I wish I was less guarded and more trusting. When it comes down to it, Trust really is a big issue for me. I think that comes because I have been really hurt before, and as I'm writing, I'm realizing that perhaps this is something I really to do some soul searching about - to ask God to show why I'm like this, and maybe there is something we can work on. I don't know, but that's where I'm at for today.